"Only Fools Rush In."

 

    While waiting for Bruno my girlfriend called me and asked if I wanted to take some pregnant photos. Thank you Kate, designer of Earthen, who took some photos of me practically naked on her front porch while consoling me that nobody walks by her house in her Napa neighborhood. I've thought about it over and over - how I would never have been shy wearing a bikini posing for photos, but for some reason bigger boobs and baby belly felt more risqué.  
    So in the effort of doing something for myself before Baby Bruno arrives, I also took a moment yesterday to gift myself a moment of considering the things that I want. I want:

•     To be able to bend over easily and paint my toenails again. Ok, let's make it more general: to be able to care for myself with ease again below the waist. I break into sweat just trying to shave my legs. I have newly developed ass and thigh muscles from the acrobatic ways I lift my legs while trying to put on my socks and shoes.
•     To never have to deal with the shock and emotional debilitation of sudden hunger pains and angst that I am usually not prepared well enough to satiate. After 40 weeks of pregnancy I still cannot mentally wrap my head around how much food a pregnant woman must eat. 
•     Sushi. I love you forever.
•     A bottle of wine and a plate of prosciutto in a room with just my husband and maybe some bread and a candle. Alright . . . and a negroni for after.
•     To wear a sundress and sandals - able to see my legs and painted toes - and while on the subject: to be able to fit into short shorts again.
•     To return to African dance classes. To vigorously exercise again. To feel sweat dripping from every gland and every muscle from deep within my soul (note* I've only had this experience from African dance classes in NYC with Djoniba. I miss you so much.).
•     And I miss loving the heat and the sun which currently melts me into discomfort, headache, and a bad mood.

    So Brunino, enjoy your last moments in utopia because you're coming out whether you like it or not.  My girlfriend texted me this morning and said she's happy he's taking time . . .because "only fools rush in."