Bruno is six weeks old now and everyday he is a little different. How am I?I think the same goes for me as well.
I have to remind myself every morning when the natural question arises "what am I going to do today?" -- "ahaha, as if you could still plan your day," I laugh. But it's not always so funny. It can get difficult having a very small window to accomplish anything and even harder when you have no idea when that window will arrive.
And when it does, the fucked up part is that it feels strange. Today Bruno slept for an hour after coming home from our walk. I raced around the house to get chores done and when I finished with lightning speed I felt an emptiness. My boobs started to get engorged. My hormones started to drop. I missed him. I wanted to hold him, smell him. It's some messed up shit, these maternal hormones. And it made me think. . . I wasn't this person before he was born. I've been rewired with different hormones and emotions that come with motherhood. Which leads me to further conclude that it's true, "you might never feel ready to be a mother until you become one." Everything about your life changes and it's not only the lifestyle. Daddy (a.k.a. Massi) says almost everyday to Bruno, "Your mommy and daddy are better people because of you." It's strange how much what's important to you just shifts.
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